Nurturing More Peace While Living in Chaos

You don’t need a quiet life to create a peaceful one—just a few powerful intentions, perspective shifts, and small rituals.

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Hi there, my Lovelies.

Since you've last heard from me, I've been busy making some intentional and very deliberate moves towards nurturing more calmness... Even the word itself sounds so soothing departing my mouth in a breathy two syllables at this moment. And this is a far deviation from the quality of my granular, day-to-day activities that involve me showing up for my two extraordinary children in a capacity that they require.

On just yesterday, I found myself mildly threatening one of them with some absurd form of discipline when I could no longer continue to see and hear their stimming behavior continue to disturb the gathering of people that I was amidst as they all attempted to look past the ordeal. Bless them.

I used to frequently reason with myself that I'll surely "get the hang of" my parenting role and feel much better while performing it when things manage to calm down. And without any research being necessary, I certainly know that this thought is an all-too common one among mothers everywhere of typical and neurodivergent children alike.

But the glaring truth, which is so very difficult to face for all of us, is that our lives may never truly calm down to the degree that we're imagining or that we'd like for them to... But thankfully, that doesn't mean that knowing some measure of peace is necessarily forever out of reach for us.

I like to entertain the idea that chaos itself is not a true enemy to us... I instead reframe this uncomfortable state of the human condition as something to which our relationship with it matters more than the actual condition itself... The fact here is that there are several facets, or natures, to the element of peace: There is definitely an external sort of peace to appreciate that is heavily dependent on the outside factors in our environment, which are always fluctuating, transforming, and evolving. There is also a gentle type of internal peace to hold out hope for that I have come to discover intimately and experience in my own life.

The eye of the storm is still, after all...

And as for practically anchoring this quote strongly to your daily life, you can leverage the use of a few different tools and practices to imbue a low-effort "micro-peace" into those messier moments in life that we all must endure:

1. Energetic Grounding Rituals: Quick practices such as body scanning, grounding outside in nature through the feet, and the method of your hand placed on your heart can be employed within seconds of time. I personally choose to perform a mini-smudge with a small stick Palo Santo, or simply light incense.

2. Gentle Affirmations: Try focusing on the following statements as you repeat them compellingly to yourself: “I can be soft in a hard moment... Even now, I am worthy of ease.”

3. Peaceful Journal/Thought Prompts: Take some time to explore your inner thoughts in response to questions like “What part of this can I release control over?” and “What does peace look like for me right now? Not ideally, but honestly?..”

Too often there is a visceral guilt that we caregivers feel in our gut when it comes to our desire for rest or quiet in those moments when chaos comes calling for us. But be reassured, your own peace isn't selfish in the least. And pursuing such is actually a radical act of self-protection. It's necessary. Revolutionary. Always know that your peace is not the luxury that we frame it to be in our society today... It is your lifeline.

My guidance is for you to move away from a place of ideals and perfectionism, and to seek presence instead. This shift in perception may not be intuitive to arrive at for us, but it is my personal experience that it is life-giving... So, choose to move throughout your days with an air of grace, even when it's messy. Hold that intention close. And, if you’re reading this with dishes in the sink, toys on the floor, and a to-do list growing in your head, know that peace can still find you here and now.

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Peace out ;)

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